Tiny Struggles

As a resource teacher, I meet children every day who face
unimagineable challenges in how they interact and integrate into the world. The world as we say it is supposed to be. Sometimes I get so frustrated that things are so black and white at times to us, that we can't embrace a different way of doing things. So instead we force each other to fit into the little moulds we create it in our minds.

My son Justin has been struggling at school during his kindergarten year. Most tell me that he will catch up, that the light bulb will click. I believe that could happen, but the liklihood of that happening without additional supports in and out of the classroom is limited. I worry about Justin. He is entering a new grade not having achieved the basics yet, and is going to be asked very quickly to build on those basics. In order to keep up to the curriculum, he and I feel pressured to "try" harder, "work" harder, "practice" more. But that in itself is a challenge. How do you fit "more" into an already full day. What do you say to a child who tells you I cried today mommy because I had to make o's.

Justin's recent OT consultation indicates things that were not a surprise to me. His low tone, and challenges with pencil grip - are making it difficult for him to learn to write. Pair that with his challenges in letter identification and literacy in general, things are not off to a great start. Thank goodness I am fortunate to have the money to hire someone privately to give us the tools we need to help him succeed. Justin has already been on a waiting list for 18 months - and it could go as long as 2 years because in the CCAC's eyes he is not "critical". Justin's needs are critical enough to me though. I want him to succeed before his frustration level peaks and we have an entirely new set of problems. Been there and done that!!!

I am happy that children with profound delays receive services and supports but I am frustrated that it seems like a child like mine has to fail before anyone takes notice or takes it seriously. Thanks goodness I am a strong advocate and have already begun the process of sharing information regularily with the school. But what about those other Justin's who's parents can't access private consultations or even more likely don't know who or what they are looking for? There children are being left behind. Those "gray" area kids who don't stand out enough deserve all the resources available to them as much as the other guy. Of course it is likely the services and supports would look so much different but just as important.

So knowing the "squeaky" wheel gets the grease, and knowing the process some from personal and professional expereince, I embark on yet another journey with another child. My only hope is that this year's teacher will listen with an open heart, and an open mind and act on these suggestions that have come at a price - a high one. I will do anything to help my child - but I am not naive enough to think I can help him on my own.