The ship has sailed!

So my hopes for a teacher who listens with an open heart and an open mind where answered. My meeting with Justin's teacher went awesome. Well at least I think so. It is weird - I feel happy even though I was told that my son requires an Individual Education Plan to succeed in grade one. I felt relieved that he will be turning 7 in January and his teacher will be referring him to have an assessment for CAPD - Central Auditory Processing Disorder. I am relieved that if that doesn't tell us anything and he still struggles, she will refer him for a full assessment. I am relieved she is already using some of the suggestions the OT has made and is excited to try some of the new ones. My feelings of happiness and relief aren't because I want something to be wrong with my boy, but that someone is actually listening and not going to play a painful waiting game. She knows what needs to be done, what steps need to be taken to keep this ship moving. It's music too my ears considering I had to argue to get my older boy noticed. At one point they towed some line that if I didn't medicate him they couldn't do anymore for him. Yes - they actually said that! Not that I am anti- medicine - we have been there and back again, but just the thought that that stipluation was made was shocking to me.

So the journey continues - destination unknown - but so far so good - Justin says he is beginning to like grade one - some fears already alleviated because this teacher understands, she guides and helps him. For once I can say with a smile - she is one step ahead of me - instead of the other way around.

Tiny Struggles

As a resource teacher, I meet children every day who face
unimagineable challenges in how they interact and integrate into the world. The world as we say it is supposed to be. Sometimes I get so frustrated that things are so black and white at times to us, that we can't embrace a different way of doing things. So instead we force each other to fit into the little moulds we create it in our minds.

My son Justin has been struggling at school during his kindergarten year. Most tell me that he will catch up, that the light bulb will click. I believe that could happen, but the liklihood of that happening without additional supports in and out of the classroom is limited. I worry about Justin. He is entering a new grade not having achieved the basics yet, and is going to be asked very quickly to build on those basics. In order to keep up to the curriculum, he and I feel pressured to "try" harder, "work" harder, "practice" more. But that in itself is a challenge. How do you fit "more" into an already full day. What do you say to a child who tells you I cried today mommy because I had to make o's.

Justin's recent OT consultation indicates things that were not a surprise to me. His low tone, and challenges with pencil grip - are making it difficult for him to learn to write. Pair that with his challenges in letter identification and literacy in general, things are not off to a great start. Thank goodness I am fortunate to have the money to hire someone privately to give us the tools we need to help him succeed. Justin has already been on a waiting list for 18 months - and it could go as long as 2 years because in the CCAC's eyes he is not "critical". Justin's needs are critical enough to me though. I want him to succeed before his frustration level peaks and we have an entirely new set of problems. Been there and done that!!!

I am happy that children with profound delays receive services and supports but I am frustrated that it seems like a child like mine has to fail before anyone takes notice or takes it seriously. Thanks goodness I am a strong advocate and have already begun the process of sharing information regularily with the school. But what about those other Justin's who's parents can't access private consultations or even more likely don't know who or what they are looking for? There children are being left behind. Those "gray" area kids who don't stand out enough deserve all the resources available to them as much as the other guy. Of course it is likely the services and supports would look so much different but just as important.

So knowing the "squeaky" wheel gets the grease, and knowing the process some from personal and professional expereince, I embark on yet another journey with another child. My only hope is that this year's teacher will listen with an open heart, and an open mind and act on these suggestions that have come at a price - a high one. I will do anything to help my child - but I am not naive enough to think I can help him on my own.

...and what will you require of me today Lord? May I be ready to serve you. I am your servant.

At a time in my life when I am immersed in the feeling of being overwhelmed, I was drawn to an article in Christian Women's Online Newsletter written by Darlene Schacht. She talked about living in the moment and taking all that God lays out for you each day with grace and dignity and truly serving the Lord.

Reading that it made me realize that I have been seeing the glass half empty the last few weeks and I need to see the opportunities before me as not an "inconvenience" but as an opportunity to serve God. Whether it is driving my son to a friends house when I just sat down with my coffee, or sitting with my step father on the porch waiting for the Darts bus, or cooking a quick meal before a football or soccer practice ~ these "inconvenience" are not an inconvenience at all - but opportunities to do nice things for others - truly putting someone else's needs before my own and ultimately serving the Lord.

With this reminder I hope to to be able to shift my feelings of being overwhelmed to that of being blessed and grateful for the people around me. Gratitude is a powerful thing!

"And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance; for ye serve the Lord Christ." ~ Colissians 3:23,24

As I browsed onward I also stumbled across o new blog called Joyful Life and the August 25, 2007 post entitled Sylvia:In Him. There are several contributors and Sylvia is one of them. This blog article was on the theme of encouragement. Something I need much of these days. The statement she reminds readers of is that God does not give you more than you can handle IN HIM." This article was a great reminder of how we cannot face the challenges of our lives without the grace and wisdom of our Lord ~ something else I have to work on.

I thank the Lord for the way he moves in our lives - today it seems he pointed me in the direction of these wonderful online resources that have inspired me to move forward with the strength he will offer me - but I have to ask (a wise Aunt of mine told me that recently also :)

Thank-you Lord for working so positively in my life, providing me with tools at my fingertips, thanking you for being there for me and of course providing me with the wonderful people in my life that I can lean on and open my heart to in times of need.